Before the beginning

88.

2011-11-24T00:02:00.000+01:00

I also developed my first analog film ever, with the Mamiya NC1000S from my aunt. Played around with different lenses and filters, and I'm rather happy about how some pictures turned out. Though I have to admit I mostly took about 5 times the same picture every time, changing some settings to experience with the camera a bit. But I definitely liked it a lot and started shooting my second film in September. I bought a 36 frames film though, and I only took about 10 pictures, so it's going to take a while before they end up here, but that's definitely part of the fun, discovering pictures you didn't even remember you took and finally seeing how they turned out.

87.

2011-11-23T23:50:00.000+01:00

I also turned myself into a zombie thanks to some photoshop tutorials and hours of playing around, which I thought was pretty funny, though other people didn't appreciate it at much and just though it was a bit scary ;)

86.

2011-11-23T23:47:00.000+01:00

I noticed I completely forgot to update here on pictures I took lately (as in since this summer I think). So before I start uploading new ones, here are some digital pictures from some time ago.

85.

2011-11-17T19:22:00.002+01:00

I always thought happiness was something that would happen to you, I never imagined it would be something you could work on and simply decide to be.

84.

2011-10-18T08:28:00.001+02:00

Dear Love,

I know some time ago I've told you I never wanted to see you again. Well, I'm sorry about that. I hadn't realised we didn't know each other yet, until this day, some months ago. I spent many years looking for you, without even first meeting your companion, friendship. I still don't know what it is I found instead, but I was trying to convince myself I could make it work. What a silly little girl, you'll tell me. I know. But then you came to me, confronting me with feelings I didn't even know could exist. You made me realise I didn't had to worry, that I could be happy and enjoy. You made me realise what it was to trust, even though I'm still struggling with old habits, old fears. Thanks to you I discoverd I might have things to share, things to give. And in return, I receive lots of you in different shapes. My heart is fulfilled, my head is happy. So I ask you Dear Love, don't ever leave. We still have so many things to discover, so many things to live.

Truly yours,

83.

2011-10-10T17:44:00.001+02:00

I've let down so many people, I caused disappointment so many times. I like to believe I'm getting used to it, or that they just don't care. But the truth is I'm trying my best not to let my fears rule my world, allowing myself to be happy, to enjoy what I sort of made of my life and the people loving and surrounding me. But that doesn't mean I know how to be a good friend, how to be there and not let you down. From the very moment someone expects something from me, I will let my fears take over everything again and I will run away. I keep telling myself some people will understand, but even if they do, I don't know how much they can take me not being there for them.

82.

2011-08-17T20:35:00.005+02:00

Goodbye.

81. What you are to me.

2011-06-23T11:54:00.000+02:00

80.

2011-05-28T20:03:00.000+02:00

Some more Lykke Li love. Some more procrastination.

79.

2011-05-23T21:30:00.000+02:00

The Exciting Adventures Of A Bad Bet, A Bad Alliteration And Mister Consequence

78.

2011-05-20T19:08:00.002+02:00

Recently I discovered Lykke Li and got totally addicted to her two albums. She really has a wonderful voice and some really good songs. I really liked this one because, for me, it's kind of a love song saying things the way they are for once. But anyway, I said below I couldn't sing about love or happy feelings, so here we go! Because... ~~Well, I, uhm, you know :)~~ Because I love you :)

I was too lazy to take out my camera, so crappy webcam quality and my computer roaring in the background will have to do. And I would also love to thank Youtube for always picking out the best video stills ;)

77.

2011-05-19T13:50:00.001+02:00

I'm wondering why it's so hard to put feelings of happiness down to words, drawings, songs. I wish I could write and sing about happiness, love and hope. But all these feelings stay right inside me, trapped in some cage inside of my body that makes me smile. But maybe that's right where they should be after all. I need to get sadness out by putting it down on a sheet of paper, to calm down by the sound of my guitar. But maybe I don't need to write happiness down to share it with other people. Maybe.

76.

2011-05-10T14:18:00.002+02:00

That was all I ever wanted, but I was never good at waiting. I thought travelling, moving from place to place, would bring me closer to what I was craving for. That time would pass slower if I stayed in one place, if I would just wait and be patient. But look at them now, they have it all. Good things happen to those who can wait. And I'm still here, wandering and travelling, hoping I will ever find what I'm looking for.

75.

2011-05-06T13:13:00.002+02:00

As it's almost my birthday, I made a 20 things I should accomplish before I'm 21 list. I know, as I'm way too good at procrastinating and always start a lot of things without finishing them, I won't probably do much from that list during the next year. But I'm curious to look back at that list the 24th of May next year and see what I do have accomplished. And I also hope it'll help me remember things I really want or should do. (I forgot to add buy a new scanner somewhere in the list)

74.

2011-04-28T21:06:00.001+02:00

Some sketchbook drawings while waiting for inspiration.

73.

2011-04-27T17:44:00.002+02:00

A while ago I spent quite a lot of time on a drawing I didn't liked at all, so I just cut out the owl and thought the rest of the drawing would just end up in the trash. But while changing my portfolio, I found out I quite liked it after all, even if there is something wrong with it or something missing, so I'm going to post it here too. I deleted my flavors.me account because I had to work with Picasa and it wouldn't just do what I told it to. So now I created a DeviantART Portfolio, it has a bit more restrictions, I can't put all of my work on it, and the design is also quite restricted. But I decided to make it anyway because I like wasting time on stupid useless stuff, and I will soon just upload all of my work on Flickr, that's easier.

72.

2011-04-24T14:10:00.004+02:00

“I don’t like other people, they remind me how empty my life is. How I traded the most important things in my life to protect me from myself.”

71.

2011-04-19T11:06:00.000+02:00

Emty room.

70.

2011-04-19T10:53:00.000+02:00

Slow dancing in a burning room.

69.

2011-04-13T21:59:00.000+02:00

We looked happy. Were we happy? Were you happy? I never really knew happiness, I think. I'm too worried to be happy, to enjoy. But I smiled. We smiled, and we looked happy.

68.

2011-03-30T23:39:00.002+02:00

Sometimes I feel like, if I can just stay inside and do nothing, or move quickly from place to place, I'll be able to stop the time for a while. If I don't really use the time I'm given, then it doesn't really count and I'll be able to use it another time, when I'll have some usefull things to do. Or funny things, things I enjoy, things that make me happy. But I know time is only passing by, every minute I spend now not looking around for beauty and happiness is wasted time that won't ever come back. There are so many things I know, but don't accept. I have to move forward, live, enjoy and look around me for things that I can see now, but will not always wait for me until tomorrow.

67.

2011-03-28T13:11:00.003+02:00

It's been a year. This week reunites the both of you, you noticed too? Maybe it was on purpose. Maybe I'll never know. I say this week because they never gave me a precise date, you know. Nor a reason or an explanation. Just this fact. It overwhelmed me, like the sea on high tide, and then retracted. This high tide doesn't come back regularly you know, I have to admit. I haven't been thinking this much about you this year. Maybe because this way it doesn't seem that real. Sometimes I do wonder when I'll realize it's real. And if it'll make me drown in a big sea storm for a while. Or if I'll just stay on this seashore forever.

Anyway I just wanted to send you a letter, like you used to do, remember? But I never returned them. I know it's too late now, but I guess I like to believe that if I keep telling myself it's not, everything will be alright. I'll stay on this shore on my own forever, living in my dreamworld where everything remains just like it used to be. Nothing changes. Nothing dissapears.

66. Light.

2011-03-27T19:17:00.002+02:00

65. Dark.

2011-03-27T19:14:00.000+02:00

64.

2011-03-16T15:01:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I felt very sick, again, I had only recovered for a week and I had to stay inside again. Just when the sun finally decided to come out, I'm stuck here inside. So after a lazy day watching Toy Story I thought I might try to draw something I had in mind for a long time. But I just wasted 2 more hours of my already useless day because the drawing completely failed. The only thing that wasn't too ugly for words is this feather/owl, but the complete drawing deserves more of a place in a trashcan than in my sketchbook where it's stuck right now.

63.

2011-03-11T14:15:00.000+01:00

Including lots of mistakes, but I promised this song to this young man, and I didn't want to make him wait any longer ;)

62.

2011-03-05T18:58:00.002+01:00

And to prove what I just said below, some very girly self-portraits on a sunny day (had to immortalize that, they are so rare). Back with my curtain-like-hair, now I have a real haircut and stuff.

They also prove that I'm not that much into make-up, look at these eeeeenormous shadows under my eyes, I could definitely use a concealer, or more sleep ;)

61.

2011-03-05T18:48:00.000+01:00

As many girls (/boys?) these days, I spent a lot of time reading blogs every day (to be honest, that's mainly what I've been doing all day the past 2 weeks while being sick). Some of them being fashion blogs, because (let's be honest, we all do), I love reading about other people's life, which, besides outfit pictures and stuff about make-up (that I just skip, I'm not so much of a make-up girl, I'm just buying the cheapest mascara and blush out there and that's it) is what you find a lot on these blogs.

Besides the fact that of course, fashion blogs and streetstyle communities are much better reflections of fashion and examples for young people than fashion magazines, showing what they call affordable clothes (don't think I know someone buying 90€ panties or a 300€ dress, or at least not very often ;) or wearable clothes (though you see a lot of girls wearing 12cm heels lately, they must be aliens), I'm not sure how I'm feeling about these blogs. I know my curiosity leads me to reading them anyway, but it is really a good thing that girls get so much attention and sometimes even money to tell about their daily life and recent purchases? But the thing I feel really sorry about is that sometimes these girls are very good photographers for example, and don't really take the time anymore for their art, because showing pictures (sometimes good ones, I must admit, but sometimes kinda crappy pictures) with their new clothes is taking all their time. On the other hand other girls include art in their outfit pictures, inventing a scene and a whole story (like Pandora, we all know), which I really admire.

This double feeling is mainly the reason why I don't wish to start such a blog, even though I don't really care about posting pictures of what I'm wearing (though mostly in pictures I'm taking for other reasons anyway) on a community like lookbook, people are going there to look at outfits anyway, and so am I. Trying to create a certain final picture by combining clothes and colors isn't really different from the other things I'm showing on this blog, experimenting with photography, illustration and graphic design, but I won't feel completely honest showing these things here regarding of what I'm thinking about other people doing it.

But anyway, I wasn't really going to give my whole opinion about fashion blogs, I was going to tell a little story.

As a little girl (and uhm, until a few years ago to be honest), I didn't feel very comfortable dressing as a girl. I loved beautiful dresses and dressed up as a princess for carnival, but in every day life I was a real clothe-disaster, let's be honest. I went through a phase I was wearing legging as pants (yes, I did), then I was wearing only kaki,... But all these different clothe-disaster-phases had one thing in common: I bought my clothes in the boy department. I can imagine now how sad that made my mom, who bought me cute little dresses that I refused to wear. So sometimes, she managed to convince me to wear them just once, so she could make pictures of me wearing them. And here is why I was thinking about these fashion blogs, because I was looking back at these pictures and they reminded me of the outfit pictures I see everyday, except they have that super 90's style we all adore ;) So I though it would be fun to share them.

In the meantime, since a year or so, I discovered the fun (and the less funny parts, dresses being to expensive, not being able to wear high heels but buying them anyway,...) of dressing as a girl, and simply to wear all the things I love but was to shy/afraid of wearing earlier.

So all's well that ends well, except for my bank account.

(And hurray for the longest post ever on this blog, looks like I've been catching up with not being very talkative in my usual posts)

60.

2011-02-20T23:48:00.002+01:00

I love your natural grace. Your kindness, your soft voice, your elegance. I like the way we have so much in common, and I love the differences between us that make you, I must admit, such a better person than I am in so many ways. I love how you can talk with passion about things, whether it is because you love them or because you hate them, and that little touch of clumsiness. I enjoy your presence in my dreams sometimes, keeping me from terrible nightmares, and leaving me smiling all day. I love your honesty and your sparkling eyes. I think I like the way I'm holding on to this by writing it down, that way it won't disappear, even though you are, slightly. But I'm not sure, maybe it makes me sad or angry, or already nostalgic.

59.

2011-02-18T21:53:00.000+01:00

My room part II

Lightpainting part I

58.

2011-02-18T21:05:00.001+01:00

Nightmares.

57.

2011-02-15T11:58:00.001+01:00

12 & 13.02.2011, my sketchbook has been empty for exactly a month.
Collage with photography of Sébastien Bonin (The Empire Strikes Black), with lyrics of Arcade Fire & My Morning Jacket (totally addicted to them lately).
(Thanks Blogger for the very bad quality)

56.

2011-02-07T23:54:00.000+01:00

I wish every day was like today. But mostly I'm just a little fish lost in a giant ocean.

55.

2011-02-04T15:42:00.001+01:00

What my room looks like:

What I wish it looked like:

54.

2011-02-03T17:42:00.001+01:00

The ghost of a thousand little lies.

53.

2011-01-30T12:42:00.001+01:00

Like some people quit smoking, she had quit crying. They have been teasing her, but even when the wind came whispering "It's too late", she didn't shed a single tear. Though, as a little girl, she has always been taught that it's never too late. No matter when, no matter what, it's never too late. But unfortunately she realised that was just another thing they said to give you hope. It wasn't true, at least, not always. That must have been the very moment she stopped crying. She had been preparing herself, for so many years. And when she was finally ready ... it was too late. She liked to believe it was faith, one of these others things they try to make you believe in. But she knew him so well, yet she knew so little. She asked the wind what were the true reasons for things to happen in life. But he kept repeating "It's too late".

52.

2011-01-23T09:52:00.005+01:00

It all began when we were all brand new little books on a "New this week" shelf. Like all little books we were giggling, speculating about what would happen to one another and imagine how we all would be like when we'll be old dusty books. But none of us could really imagine how life would turn out. Some of us stayed on the shelf for quite a long time, others became bestsellers and were lend all the time. But in the end we all have known a few readers. Not always careful ones. After being put in different sections and lend to different readers, we now come together again in the reparation room. The less lucky ones have pages ripped off, others just some coffee marks and a missing cover. But some of us are missing here in the reparation room, they are maybe all alone on a forgotten shelf in the back of the library. But maybe they have met some interesting books along the way and completely forgot about us. Others are in the hands of a very careful reader for quite some time now. We are still very young books though, but we already lived some remarkable adventures. Some say we can live for a hundred years. I wonder what it'll be like.

51.

2011-01-21T14:17:00.000+01:00

What do you do when you're stuck home with a new camera ?

Enjoy sunny winterdays and go on an adventurous trip to your garden.

Take some wedding pictures and find unicorns on your dusty bookshelf.

Annoy your rat while she's trying to sleep and try out your mom's new mirror.

Real pictures coming later, just needed to try out a bit.

50.

2011-01-19T17:35:00.000+01:00

We will say the same words over and over again. To different people. Feeling it's the first time we can put our feelings in such beautiful words, though you did it a hundred times, and you will do it again. Until that day, someone leaves you speechless, and you have to nothing to say. Words are flying around everywhere but you can't seem to catch them, and there's no need to, there is nothing to say.

49.

2011-01-15T23:41:00.003+01:00

Sometimes, I have that weird feeling I'm not a part of my memories. At the exact moment I know I'm living something special, I don't really have the ability to feel part of it. I'm some kind of outsider, remembering things as if I had a vague souvenir of a movie or a book, not really as if I actually lived that moment or was there at the very moment it happened. Some beautiful and extraordinary things happened, things which I can't believe I really did, was part of or really happened to me. Some aweful things are just nightmares amongst other nightmares I have every night. Some things I forget. I forget a lot of things. A lot of memories just, dissapear. But I try to focus on enjoying moments, realizing what's happening and hoping this way memories will stay, and I will remember them as being a part of it, as being a part of my life.

48.

2011-01-11T20:17:00.003+01:00

Hey Santa!
I wanted to thank you & my dear Rudolf for bringing me all my presents. Or nearly all of them. I understand you couldn't afford the graphic tablet right now and, please remember for the next time, tell me when you're broke and don't go borrowing my money like this! (Ok I won't blame you, I really wanted that camera). But for my gay friend ... I don't understand ... He most be lost somewhere between Lapland and Belgium and I really hope he'll arive soon.

See you next year!
Love & cookies.

47.

2011-01-08T23:49:00.002+01:00

As I spend a quite big amount of time a day on other people's tumblr, and as I have a loooooooot of pictures with absolutely no utility sleeping somewhere on my computer for years but that I don't want to post here, I thought it was about time to start a tumblr myself. Don't understand much at the moment though. Makes me also think about the complete abstract utility of those kinds of blogs, sharing things you like but you stole from other people who also liked it but you don't even know who they are. I mean, imagine explaining that to your grandparents. We live in a crazy age, but I think I quite like it.

46.

2011-01-08T21:58:00.000+01:00

Oh, it's my first post of the year. Now I get nervous haha ;)
I am very very tired of studying. Tomorrow I will get my new camera but I'll probably won't have much time to take pictures until february. I also think about making a new layout because I'm already tired of this one and making a better portfolio because I don't like the restrictions on flavors.me and start drawing again and start playing guitar again but time is hiding somewhere. So dear time if you read this, come back, please.

But because of the new year and new resolutions and new goals to achieve I also was thinking I should finally get the tattoo I'm thinking about for a few years now. But of course when you start taking it serious you start doubting and now I have a few ideas but I'm not sure at all anymore.

So I want birds. For freedom, for nature, for going everywhere you want, for everything is possible and I must admit a little bit for Sigur Rós too. But I don't know what kind of birds, where, what sizes and blablabla. I would draw them myself of course, but this are just some ideas. Though I prefer the one on the second picture.

45.

2010-12-30T09:43:00.001+01:00

This should be ours. But you share our daily routines, everything that makes you special and our future plans with someone else, not with me. Someone strong, ready to give you what you need. And I know I've tried to replace you so many times, but you're the only one standing there in the end, holding my heart. The saddest are the fading memories, no matter how hard I try I keep forgetting the two men of my life. Holding tight some memories, not even knowing if they're real.

44.

2010-12-20T21:41:00.000+01:00

Pictures taken the 17th, 18th and 20th of December. I absolutely love snowy days and want to capture them as much as possible.

43.

2010-12-19T14:46:00.001+01:00

Currently all my inspiration goes to writing on my paper for school. Though I made some snowy pictures yesterday that I will post as soon as possible, Blogspot isn't really the most handy site for posting lots of pictures at the same time. Sunny winterdays are definitely the best for morning walks in the fresh snow. Today the sun is gone but snowflakes keep on falling for hours and hours, just perfect when you're inside drinking tea, listening to Fleet Foxes (& working).

It's been a year now that Fleet Foxes is my perfect snowy-days-music, time to make a new album Robin!

42.

2010-12-12T18:01:00.001+01:00

I'm not really really satisfied of this collage I made today. But at least it was more productive than the 5 episodes of Gossip Girl I've been watching. I really hate series, they're so addictive and stupid at the same time, argh. I should be working at my paper for school, but changing my layout ( I was really really bored of it ) and ripping thousands of newspapers and magazines I've been collecting to pieces is much more inspiring than reading wanna-be-scientific articles about music consumption. I can justify this as a lazy sunday, I guess.

41.

2010-12-05T18:36:00.000+01:00

I'm feeling this is the end. The end of all kind of things. Negative as well as postive things. Some say if we let go of the chains that keep us attached to all the things we love, we can finally go forward. This one's not a spectacular ending, no, it's more the kind of ending that comes slowly, where some things dissapear, and new ones come appearing. It gives me some sort of strenght to go on, to begin and, to say goodbye.

40. Goodbye.

2010-12-04T11:44:00.000+01:00

" The drugs that decieve him and the girls that believe him.

I can't control you, I don't know you well, these are the reasons I think that you're ill.

And since last that we parted, since last that I saw him down by a river, silent and hardened.

Morning was mocking us, blood hit the sky, I was just happy, my manic and I.

And I'm sorry young man, I cannot be your friend.

I don't believe in a fairytale end, I don't keep my head up all of the time,

I find it dull when my heart meets my mind, and I hardly know you, I think I can tell,

these are the reasons I think that we're ill."

39.

2010-12-03T17:18:00.000+01:00

I know life is beautiful. The sun is melting the snow, a wonderful winter wonderland. Lights are burning in the snowy white and lovely people are surrounding me. Life is easy but I'm not, so I just can't get what I want. I know I'm just not ready for what I'm dreaming of, but still I can't ease my mind. I'm waiting for him everyday, and I know if I just keep hoping long enough he will come. He will come. We'll finally get that life we're dreaming of and nothing will ever tear us apart, not love, not life.

38.

2010-11-24T21:04:00.003+01:00

Maybe it's a little early for this, but:

Dear Santa,
I ~~have been~~ really tried to be a good girl this year,
so if you and Rudolf could drop by the 25th of December and
hide some of the following things under our christmas tree,
I would be very happy. Of course I know you can't bring ALL
of the things, would be way too heavy to carry all the way to
our little country. But be sure to keep them safe for when
I'll be visiting you two in Lapland (I promise not to forget
Rudolf's cookies this time).

- Jónsi live DVD + CD.
- ~~Sigur Ròs -~~ ~~Heima DVD~~
- A beautiful new bag, to be a good girl and bring all my books to class
- A cheap graphic tablet, for more photoshop fun
- A DSLR-camera

- And, most of all : a gay (and handsome) friend, who would live with me in our big appartment full of huge windows, we would play music, sing and dance, draw and make huge paintings, watch tons of movies and series, invite friends for crazy parties, laugh and cry and talk about everything, we would go for long walks in the forest and cry at movies in the cinema, go for unplanned roadtrips and every night, he'd be there to hold me very close while we fall asleep.

Thanks alot a good luck with bringing all the christmas gifts in time!

Love,

lanathie.

37.

2010-11-24T20:34:00.001+01:00

I had this drawing in my head for quite a long time.

(Bad quality because of scanning again, the circles are in fact pieces of white

tracing paper, here they just seem to have the same color as the drawing paper)

36.

2010-11-23T11:27:00.001+01:00

I would have written this for you.

35. Jónsi.

2010-11-23T11:24:00.001+01:00

The most intense and beautiful feeling ever. I spent an evening in heaven.

(drunk setlist after drinking Orval's in a bar all day)

Words are missing to explain how they conquered my eyes, my ears and my heart. The smiles and hapiness on their faces is touching me so deeply. The simplicity with which he came so close to us, touching us, smiling, making us sing with him. Sharing.

Of course I fell in love for the second time with Úlfur Hansson. He's an angel. Smiling all the time, delicate gestures, sharing looks with us. Úlfur, if you read this I want to marry you.

34.

2010-11-21T18:34:00.001+01:00

You came into my life changing and destroying everything I had carefully taken so long to build up. Strenght, self-esteem, plans, hopes and dreams. Replacing them by new hopes and dreams and feelings I couldn't understand. I hate feelings because I'm always forced to hide them, people don't want to be loved, they don't dream of better places nor see the beautiful magic of unexplainable things in life. In fact, the earth is a cold dead place, but they call it reality, I think. People live inside reality, that world where it's forbidden to dream, to love or to believe. Now I must be somewhere half dead between heaven and hell, between dream and reality. You didn't managed to pull me into reality and I didn't managed to show you how to dream. But now you're gone, so it doesn't matter anymore. Things always end this way, everything you've taken care to build up is broken in million little pieces and every time you're a little less able to believe in magic but ... it doesn't matter.

Explosions in the sky - Your hand in mine - The earth is not a cold dead place.

33.

2010-11-20T22:25:00.002+01:00

When you listen to people's conversations, you quickly notice it's filled with "we should do this sometime" or "we'll do that sometime soon". Full of dreams and hopes that will probably never come true. In the end time is missing, plans are changing and daily routine continues. Leaving all your dreams and hopes behind.

32.

2010-11-11T12:48:00.001+01:00

I have always loved libraries. The smell of old books, the heavy sound of your footsteps breaking the silence of pages being turned. Wandering across rows filled with knowledge, exchanging looks, murmuring, fortunate meetings you will never make.

- Little rainy morning song.

31.

2010-11-08T17:47:00.000+01:00

Girls have that special ability of falling in love an incredible amount of times in a lifetime. They seem to never lose their belief in magic and fairytales. But the beautiful naivity of a boy falling in love is something that only happens once. Once they've been hurt, all that remains is some sort of wreck, not believing in anything anymore. Like a cute little animal needing to be tamed, but roaring out loud to impress us.

I must be something between a girl and a boy.

30.

2010-11-08T17:18:00.007+01:00

There must be a reason why I'm always taking pictures when it's too dark.

So obviously a lot of details and most of the color dissapeared.

But I love drawing in books, so I decedided to start some sketch book again,

even if it's horrible not being able to scan it and ending up with crappy pictures.

I'm really happy though, because I really needed to draw again.

29.

2010-11-05T21:26:00.003+01:00

It's not easy. Like learning to walk again. Though I'm beginning to ask myself if I ever knew how to walk, and if I'll ever be able to learn it. I feel completely lost, trying to find something to hang on to. In fact you never find something to hang on to, you're just on your own, hanging on to yourself. I want to feel home, to feel safe, to know things are right and will keep this way...for some time. Instead I'm just racing in so many difrent directions, not really knowing where I'm going or where I will end up.

"Ithink emotions affect your body as much as X-rays and vitamins andcar crashes. And whatever it is I'm feeling right now, well, God onlyknows what parts of my body are being demolished. And I deserve it.Because I'm not a good person – because I'm a bad person who alsohappens to be lost."

- Douglas Coupland - The Gum Thief

28.

2010-10-18T23:14:00.000+02:00

‎"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."

- J.D. Salinger

27.

2010-10-18T18:37:00.002+02:00

Quite happy of this typographical try-out thing on of Montreal's lyrics that nearly took me all day, haha & of new music discovery today. Kevin Barnes has never written anything as true as this whole song, though.

26.

2010-10-12T12:04:00.000+02:00

25.

2010-10-06T23:09:00.005+02:00

I'm dreaming of somewhere, far away. Somewhere I could call home.

"I want a ticket to anywhere,
Maybe together we can get somewhere,
Any place is better."

24.

2010-09-27T21:00:00.003+02:00

In Vino Veritas by Port O'Brien by me & quite crappy.

23.

2010-09-26T12:07:00.001+02:00

22.

2010-09-22T10:54:00.002+02:00

Funny how Alanis Morissette isn't credible anymore since she was playing a doctor and dating Andy in Weeds. I miss that series. Anyway ... makes me smile.

21.

2010-09-16T15:26:00.001+02:00

Yesterday evening's inspiration : episode II.

(Lyrics from Lightning Dust - Listened On,

Image from I'm sorry I don't remember)

20.

2010-09-16T15:25:00.000+02:00

Yesterday evening's inspiration.

19.

2010-09-13T18:48:00.001+02:00

Smiling.

18.

2010-09-09T18:04:00.003+02:00

And my head told my heart
"Let love grow"

- Mumford & Sons - Winter Winds

(Based on The Bear That Wasn't artwork)

17.

2010-08-31T21:47:00.008+02:00

The first complete song I recorded since I started to practice my very bad guitar skills this summer. I didn't know the song until tonight, Oh Horatio by Tiger Lou, and to be honest I don't really like it either. But it's easy to play and I think I liked it this way.

16.

2010-08-29T22:29:00.001+02:00

We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all the time — but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.

— Hunter S. Thompson

15.

2010-08-23T23:52:00.001+02:00

I've been experiencing time in so many diferent ways over the last years. I remember doing everything over long periods of time some years ago. Though I wasn't really more patient, but months and years passed. Lately everything is going so fast, and yet so slowly, I feel like waiting for ages all the time. The last two years a lot of different things happened, over short periods of time that seemed to last an eternity. I have to become more patient, I have to stay and learn to enjoy. Things, moments, places, people.

Walking away. Talking all day. I want you. There's something about the summer.

14.

2010-08-09T21:09:00.003+02:00

I want to travel the world.

( School assignment about cartography, two or three years ago )

( Inspired mostly by On Kawara's work and Pierre Alechinsky's work about cartography )

13.

2010-08-09T20:46:00.004+02:00

The reason why there are so much old magazines and newspapers hiding under my bed.

12.

2010-07-30T21:30:00.001+02:00

Strange ideas when bored at night.

11.

2010-07-28T17:54:00.003+02:00

( 17.04.2010)

~~(remember)~~

10.

2010-07-21T10:52:00.004+02:00

Today this is the best song I've heard in a long long time.
I've already been listening to it way too much this morning.

09.

2010-07-20T21:16:00.008+02:00

What you said to me today made me the happiest girl in the universe.

And if someone feels like buying me these things from Modcloth for Christmas... would make me very happy too hihi.

08.

2010-07-19T19:12:00.004+02:00

Some pictures I took today. While waiting for my analog film to be finished so I can start develop them.

I know, my legs are still white after all these days of summer, but luckily my first sunburns I got at Rock Herk aren't visible on the pictures (my red nose is the main raison why my head isn't on the pictures, I look like Rudolph, Santa's reindeer).

07.

2010-07-19T18:51:00.002+02:00

Quite appropriate lately, I wish I made this.

But I got this from mydeadpony.

I always thought a girl was behind this site, but mydeadpony is actually Raphael, a very

good Belgian illustrator (oh I would be so in love with a guy making things like this haha).

06.

2010-07-09T21:18:00.007+02:00

Can't choose, as always.

( Some typographical try out, but the images in the background

aren't mine, so long they're on my computer I'm unable to tell

where I got them from )

05.

2010-07-08T08:58:00.001+02:00

Sweet, crazy conversations full of half sentences, daydreams and misunderstandings are more thrilling than understanding could ever be.

04.

2010-07-01T18:39:00.001+02:00

I don't really understand, how certain things, some people, some environments, become a part of your life because you want them too. You decide to pay more attention to them, and eventually to see them in another way so that you start to love them. But ironically the other way around seems much harder. All the little things you found irritating, unattractive and difficult to love are suddenly so hard to hate again once they're gone. We always love what we don't have and what we regret. And I don't seem to understand why people are made to hurt themselves this way. I still believe that everything happens for a reason, even if everything is pointing out the other way and showing me I'm wrong. I'm fighting against my nostalgia and being sad about everything that isn't anymore, trying hard to find reasons for them to dissapear out of my life or take another place, which I don't always seem to find. But I have to look to the future, that far away uncertain thing I hate because I can't control it, and believe beautiful things will always happen in unexpected moments.

03.

2010-07-01T12:00:00.002+02:00

I DON'T LIKE CHANGES.

Let's go hide from them in here.

02.

2010-06-28T21:45:00.006+02:00

Oh hello, I only listen to shitty music lately.
No, I like this song, I've been looking for it for a week
and today it's hitting me this way ... bam.

01.

2010-06-25T20:48:00.005+02:00

Perfection is not enough .